A New Spin on the 5 Love Languages

Feb 4, 2024

This week we're talking about the 5 "Love Languages" — but with a unique twist.

Love Languages is a concept created by Gary Chapman in his book: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. It refers to all the different ways people like to give and receive love.

Usually, when people talk about Love Languages, they apply these concepts to romantic relationships.

This week, we’re going to take a slightly different spin on it… We're applying Love Languages to the longest relationship we’ll ever have: the one we have with ourselves.

The 5 Love Languages are: Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, and Physical Touch.

In this post, we'll dive into each one, and share concrete examples of how you can learn to love yourself well.

Acts of Service

This Love Language refers to the acts of kindness and thoughtfulness that you can do to support yourself. Any act of service you give to yourself is a reminder that you are loved and worthy.

Here are a few ways to use Acts of Service to show love for yourself:

✨ Decluttering your space

🥘 Cooking yourself a nourishing meal

🙏 Doing something your future self will thank you for

🥰 Scheduling a self-care day

🛀 Making a luxurious bath for yourself

🌿 Volunteering

✅ Checking something off your to-do list

Check-in question: What’s one act of service towards yourself that you can incorporate into your day this week? 

Quality Time

This Love Language refers to expressing your love and affection by giving your undivided attention.

Spending time with yourself will help you better understand who you are and what you care about. The more time you spend with yourself, the more you will discover yourself deeply — your preferences and desires, what your likes and dislikes are, what makes you feel at ease or anxious, and more.

Whether it’s pursuing a hobby, meditating, going for a hike, or taking yourself out to the movies, spend time with yourself doing the things you enjoy.

As you spend this quality time, your individuality and uniqueness will blossom as you learn to love the person you are. That is the journey that we are all on.

Here are a few ways to use Quality Time to show love for yourself:

🍝 Taking yourself on a date

📓 Journaling

👟 Taking yourself out for a walk

🎨 Going to your favorite park to read your favorite book or bring something creative to do, like painting!

🎻 Signing up for a fun creative class you’ve always wanted to take

🍿 Taking yourself to movie, or have a movie night at home with your favorite treats

🌄 Planning a fun day or weekend getaway to a place you’ve always wanted to explore

Check-in question: What’s one way you can spend quality time with yourself today?

Words of Affirmation

Self-talk has a large impact on how we feel about ourselves. If you notice yourself being critical or judgmental towards yourself, ask yourself how you would communicate with someone you love, care about, and admire — and then try to incorporate that communication style into your internal dialogue.

Here are a few ways to use Words of Affirmation to show love for yourself:

⚡️ Complimenting yourself about your unique strengths, and giving yourself praise.

✍🏽 Writing in your journal things you love about yourself and/or are proud of yourself for.

🤍 Practicing things you feel grateful for.

🪞 Looking in the mirror and speaking with your hand over your heart, positive affirmations to yourself.

📱 Setting a reminder on your phone with a positive affirmation to yourself.

🎧 Listening to daily affirmations. Here's one we recorded for you this week!

Check-in question: In what ways can you incorporate kind and positive self-talk today? 

Receiving Gifts

Usually people think of gifts as tangible things that cost money, but we focus on all kinds of different gifts. As with giving gifts to others, it’s not necessarily the gift itself that matters — but more the thoughtfulness and intention behind it.

Here are a few ways to use Receiving Gifts to show love for yourself (with saving $ and decreasing consumerism in mind…):

😌 Giving yourself the gift of patience while working on something

☕️ Making your favorite coffee or tea

🧖‍♀️ Treating yourself to a spa day (we’re thinking homemade facemasks and sugar scrubs!)

🎶 Making yourself a playlist with all your favorite songs

🍪 Baking your favorite sweet treat

🫙 Creating a jar of affirmations, or things you are grateful for, written on small pieces of paper. Read them when you need them!

Check-in question: In what ways can you give yourself a gift today? 

Physical Touch

If your love language is physical touch, then you most likely give and receive love through warm hugs, holding hands, massages, and more.

Here are a few ways to use Physical Touch to show love for yourself:

💆‍♀️ Stretching your muscles and giving yourself a massage to relax into your body

🛀 Taking a bath and gently cleanse your body with a body scrub

🌾 Dry brushing your skin

🤗 Wrapping yourself in a warm blanket, almost like giving yourself a warm hug

🧘‍♀️ Stretching, yoga, and/or moving your body in a loving way

🧴 Cultivating a loving skincare routine

Check-in question: What is one way you can make yourself feel good in your body this week? 

Final Thoughts on the 5 Love Languages

I would like to close out this week’s theme by reminding you that self-love is a journey. It takes dedication, devotion, and practice. 

Connecting with ourselves has ripple effects across our whole lives, and will allow us to more easily give love and find a richer connection with others. One of my favorite ways to think about this is remembering that you can’t pour from an empty cup. 

Prioritizing yourself, and making sure your cup is full first and foremost will allow you to more easily give love and find a richer connection with others.

Remember: The love we show ourselves and the standards we set up for ourselves act as a guide for how others can love and care for us. 

Thanks for reading, and hope you have a great week ahead!

— Megan

P.S. Our programs and resources are for informational purposes only. This website is not for emergency or crisis help. Our programs are not intended to provide mental health diagnosis, counseling, or treatment. You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider.