Feeling overwhelmed is something we all experience — but managing our emotions isn’t always easy. 

When stress hits, it can be tough to stay grounded, think clearly, or even know what you're feeling. That’s where Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, comes in.

DBT is a type of talk therapy designed for people who feel emotions intensely.

It’s based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps us see how our thoughts influence our emotions and actions. But DBT goes a step further by helping us both accept where we are, and also learn to make positive changes.

Emotions are a natural part of being human — they help us survive, make decisions, and connect with others.

But sometimes, especially during high-stress moments, they can feel overpowering. Many of our emotional reactions come from automatic thoughts formed in early childhood, which don’t always reflect our adult reality.

The goal of emotional regulation in DBT is to help us understand what we’re feeling, reduce how often we get stuck in painful emotions, and ease our emotional suffering.

In this week’s theme, we’ll explore simple, practical ways to regulate emotions when life feels like too much.

Dialectical Thinking

First, we’re going to introduce the concept of “dialectical thinking,” which essentially means “holding two seemingly opposite things as true at the same time.”

For example, let’s say you’re feeling really anxious about an upcoming presentation. Your mind might start spinning with thoughts like: “I’m going to mess this up. I shouldn’t even try.” 

That’s where dialectical thinking can step in. Instead of getting stuck in that extreme view, you can shift to something like: “I’m nervous about this presentation, and I’ve also prepared the best I can.”

Both parts are true — your anxiety is valid, and it also doesn’t cancel out the effort you’ve put in.

That balanced perspective can soften the emotional intensity, helping you stay grounded and move forward without denying how you feel. It’s not about forcing positivity, but about holding space for the full picture.

This can be especially helpful when emotions feel overwhelming. Strong feelings often push us into “black-and-white thinking,” whereas dialectical thinking helps us make space for seemingly opposing things.

That shift helps to give your mind room to breathe when emotions are tight and overwhelming, helping you feel more grounded and in control.

Try out Dialectical Thinking

If you want to apply Dialectical Thinking, try reflecting on a situation that brought up strong emotions and come up with a “Both-And” Statement:

Example:

• Situation: “I snapped at my friend when I was stressed.”

• Both-And statement: “I’m upset that I lost my temper, *and* I’m still a caring friend who’s trying to do better.”

S.T.O.P.

The skill we’re learning next is called S.T.O.P. 

The S.T.O.P. skill is a tool from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) designed for those moments where you are so emotionally activated that you are no longer in control. 

S.T.O.P. is an acronym that stands for Stop, Take a step back, Observe, and Proceed mindfully. It’s like hitting the “pause button” in a moment where you’re about to say, or do, something you might regret.

When you're overwhelmed — say you're in a heated argument or feeling a wave of panic — Stop means literally freeze. Don’t speak, don’t move, just pause. 

Then, Take a step back mentally or physically. Breathe. This creates space between the emotion and your reaction. 

Observe what’s happening inside and around you: What are you feeling? What’s the situation? What are others doing? 

Finally, Proceed mindfully — choose a response that aligns with your values and long-term goals, rather than just reacting on impulse.

Using S.T.O.P. in real life might look like catching yourself before sending an angry text, or taking a deep breath before responding to criticism.

It doesn’t make the emotion disappear, but it gives you the chance to respond with intention instead of letting the emotion take over. 

Opposite Action

Lastly, let's talk about Opposite Action.

Opposite Action helps you shift intense emotions by doing the opposite of what the emotion urges you to do — but only when acting on that urge would be unhelpful or make things worse.

The idea is that while your emotions are valid, they don’t always tell us the full truth, and we don’t have to let them run the show. Sometimes, changing your behavior can actually help change the emotion over time.

For example, if you’re feeling overwhelming anxiety about going to a social event, your urge might be to cancel and isolate. But if avoiding it will just reinforce your fear, “Opposite Action” would mean gently pushing yourself to go — even if it’s hard. 

Or if you feel angry and want to lash out, but you know it would damage a relationship, the opposite action might be taking a breath and speaking calmly instead. It’s not about pretending you’re fine — t’s about choosing what helps in the long run.

Also, it’s important to note that Opposite Action doesn’t ask you to ignore or deny your emotions. In fact, the first step is recognizing and naming what you feel. 

The skill says, “Yes, this feeling is real — and now I get to choose how I respond.”

You’re not pushing your feelings away; you’re using your behavior to move through them in a way that supports your values, instead of getting stuck in patterns that keep you feeling worse.

How to practice Opposite Action

We invite you to try applying “opposite action” with an emotion you often struggle with (like anxiety, sadness, anger, etc.).

• When you feel the urge to act on it (like avoiding, withdrawing, yelling, etc.), pause and ask yourself: “Will acting on this urge help or hurt in the long run?”

• If it won’t help, try doing the opposite of the urge — just once, even in a small way.

T.I.P.P.

We’re wrapping up our deep dive into emotion regulation skills with a big hitter, called TIPP! 

The TIPP skills are a set of fast-acting, body-based strategies designed to help you lower the intensity of extreme emotions quickly.

When you're overwhelmed — like in a panic, rage, or total shutdown — your body is often in “survival mode,” and logic won’t cut through. That’s where TIPP comes in. 

It’s another acronym that stands for Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Muscle Relaxation.

Temperature involves cooling your body down fast — like splashing cold water on your face or holding an ice pack. This triggers what’s called the "dive reflex," which slows your heart rate and helps calm your nervous system. 

Intense Exercise, even for just a few minutes (like jumping jacks or a quick run), burns off the adrenaline and energy that floods your body during an emotional spike.

Then you’ve got Paced Breathing, where you slow your breath down — usually by breathing in for 4 counts and out for 6. That helps send a signal to your brain that you’re safe. 

Lastly, Progressive Muscle Relaxation involves tensing and relaxing different muscle groups to release physical tension. 

Altogether, TIPP is like an emergency emotional “reset button” — it helps calm the body first, so the mind can follow.

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We hope this week's theme helped give you some skills to stop your emotions from running the show in stressful situations!

We usually can't stop stressful situations from happening, so mastering these skills will make it easier for you to focus, manage your attention, and find more peace and control in your life.

P.S. If you could use help accomplishing your goals, busting through procrastination, or getting motivated — please join us at one of our live guided work sessions, or morning planning sessions! Our entire community is waiting for you.

Take care,

— Darya and the focused space team