Friendship is one of life’s most beautiful gifts. 

The people we laugh with, cry with, vent to, and grow alongside: they're the ones who make life richer. 

However, it’s important to note the real truth that you cannot be someone’s friend if they are not yours. 

As Esther Perel once aptly described it: “friendship is the most free-choice relationship we have” — meaning, there are no vows, no papers, no cultural scripts to follow… only willing reciprocity. 

That’s why we are covering friendship this week. Whether you’re nurturing an old friendship or building new ones, we’ll be sharing five heartfelt ways to be a good friend. 

#1: Be Present

We all get busy. Life doesn’t slow down.

But one of the most powerful things you can offer a friend is your presence.

Whether it’s physical or emotional, being present doesn’t always mean showing up at every event. Sometimes, it’s about simply letting someone know they’re on your mind.

This can look as small as a quick phone call or text on the way home from work, or as large as showing up to a friend’s house when they are going through a hard time.

It’s easy to get caught up in the never ending list of to-do’s, but make sure to squeeze in your friends and not take them for granted.

Like a garden, friendships grow when you tend to them. 

#2: Deeply Listen

Have you ever had a rough day and wanted to just talk about it with someone?

We all need this type of support sometimes, so it’s good to review the basics of good listening. 

Being a good listener isn’t about catching every word, it’s about discerning what kind of support the person you are listening to is looking for. 

It can be tempting to support in a way we feel most comfortable with, such as problem solving or making them laugh.

But sometimes these intentions, albeit good, can land wrong and make our buddies feel more isolated. 

Good listening involves emotional attunement. Meaning, it’s not just hearing what they are saying, but how they are saying it.

If you notice a friend’s voice cracking, maybe they need a space to cry instead of hearing why they should look on the bright side. 

Or if a friend is sharing something heavy, resist the urge to jump in with, “Here’s what I would do...” and instead try, “That sounds really hard. What do you feel like you need right now?”

It’s also important to remember that no one is a mind reader, so if you’re not sure what a friend needs, it never hurts to ask: “hey, I really want to support you right now. Would you like some advice? Or do you just need me to listen?” 

3 Top-Tier Listening Tips

Ask: “Want to talk it out or just rant? I’ve got you either way.”

Paraphrase back: “So what I hear you saying is ____. Is that right?”

Use reflective silence — don’t fill every pause with words.

#3: Celebrate Wins

Being a good friend isn’t just about being there for the tough stuff.

Although that’s important, what’s equally as important and often overlooked is being there for your friend’s accomplishments and milestones! 

Whether it’s a job promotion, finally finishing that novel, or just getting through a hard week, recognizing someone’s wins helps build trust, joy, and connection.

You can make it a habit to cheer your friends on regularly by making a note on your calendar about big events in their life. Think birthdays, big moves, interviews, etc. 

Sending a text or a card on these special dates indicates to your friends that what is happening in their life is on your mind and important to you.

This kind of care and intention can really go a long way in a friendship and only takes a few minutes. 

#4: Respect and Share Boundaries

A strong friendship isn’t just built on shared laughs and deep talks but also thrives when both people feel safe and respected.

Boundaries help create that safety. They allow us to communicate our needs honestly, prevent resentment, and show up more fully for each other. 

Whether it’s needing alone time, saying no to discussing certain topics, or managing how often you hang out, boundaries aren’t barriers, they’re bridges to healthier connection.

You can start supporting your friends' boundaries by asking how they prefer to communicate or checking in when plans shift. 

And don’t forget to share your own, too! When both people feel heard and respected, it strengthens trust and deepens the bond.

A little clarity can go a long way in helping friendships last and flourish.

#5: Grow Together

The best friendships are the ones where both people can be their full, authentic selves.

That means being honest, not just when it’s easy, but also when it’s a little uncomfortable. 

Sharing how you feel, being clear about your needs, or offering gentle feedback can feel vulnerable, but it’s one of the most loving things you can do for a friend.

Honesty builds trust, and trust creates the space for both people to grow.

You can practice this by doing some of the things we discussed in our previous theme about “How to Tell the Truth Compassionately.” 

Start by checking in with yourself before big conversations and asking: “Am I being real, or just trying to keep the peace?” Then, speak from a place of care. 

At the same time, be open to hearing your friend’s truth, too.

Friendships evolve and when you commit to growing honestly together, you make room for the relationship to stay strong and meaningful through every season of life.

3 Ways to Grow Together

Speak up gently when something bothers you, with curiosity instead of blame.

Express gratitude like “I’m glad you’re in my life”, more often than “I need something.”

Revisit friendship norms as life changes (distance, work, family).

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We hope you've found some inspiration here to help nurture your existing friendships, or grow new ones.

P.S. If you could use help accomplishing your goals, busting through procrastination, or getting motivated — join us at one of our live guided work sessions, or morning planning sessions!

Take care,

— Darya and the focused space team